THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OF SIR NILES:

Sir Niles Bannister Sinclair Von Rochambeau is the unanointed crown prince of the 70s monster rock scene in the UK. Although he often remained protected from the spotlight by an entourage of handlers and brauny coxswains, Sir Niles holds a place in the annals of history as the rear admiral of the British Invasion. As Jan Wenner once said, "Sir Niles is to rock n' roll what Hugh Hefner is to smoking jackets: the over-sexed meat beneath all that velvet and silk."

Sir Niles was raised by his uncle Dr. Roger Roger Bannister, MD and his Auntie Emily on their family farm in Scrompshire, England. His parents Sir Clive Marles Sinclair (Son of George William Carter Sinclair of Richmond-upon-Thames) and Ann Trevor-Briscoe could not afford to raise Sir Niles as a youth because they had invested all of the family fortune in a fledgling electronics business (Sinclair Radionics, Ltd.) which was many years ahead of its time.
 

Dr. Roger Roger, MD raised sheep until Sir Niles was nine years old, after which he became the first neurologist in Great Britain to raise Emus. For a while Auntie Em raced the Emus at the local greyhound track. Her eccentric behaviour caught the attention of many of the local gentry, but proved fruitless. Within a year Emily retired from racing and the Bannisters needed a new use for their Emu stock. As luck would have it, they quickly developed a lucrative business of rendering emu fat, and sold “Bannister’s Olde Tyme Emu Oil” all across Europe from a covered wagon. The young Sir Niles always traveled with them, and became a regular on the fat-rendering circuit. Sir Niles credits Roger Roger and Emily and their vagabond lifestyle with being the greatest influence on his development as a young adult.
 
 
   
 
 

After becoming disillusioned by the fame and abundance of fornication that so often go hand-in-hand with being the heir-apparent of the world’s largest emu fat-rendering empire, Sir Niles retreated back to Scrompshire where he entered his soul-searching years as a shepherd. It was during this period (now known as the “Fleece Weekend ”) that Sir Niles got his first big break in the music business.

During a sheep sheering derby, Sir Niles met a young troubadour by the name of Syd, who was on holiday with this mum from his hometown of Cambridge. Sir Niles and Syd spent countless hours discussing music, philosophy, gnomes and Sir Niles’ childhood adventures on the Continent with Roger Roger. Sensing that Syd was eager to go on a trip of his own, Sir Niles turned Syd on to psylocibin mushrooms, a delicacy which Sir Niles had been introduced to in his oil-hocking days by gypsies from Kazakhstan.

 
 
Sir Niles had also first given LSD to the dentist of John Lennon, in a now famous incident. Shortly thereafter, Syd asked Sir Niles to return to Hemel, Hempstead with him and become the spiritual advisor to his band the Abdabs (later renamed “The Pink Floyd Sound,” and then simply “Pink Floyd”). Syd then scored a hit with a song inspired by Sir Niles' aunt called "See Emily Play."
 

Sir Niles soon became the lifestyle guru for many young bands including The Animals, Cream, The Incredible String Band, The Who, Black Sabbath and The Rolling Stones. Just as George Harrison had the Maharishi for questions about the meaning of the inward self, Ringo Starr turned to Sir Niles for fashion tips, hairstyle consultation and jewelry design. Within two years, Sir Niles was the most influential taste-maker and raconteur in the whole of the U.K.
 
 
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